Teeth Shooter

I was sitting in front of a Colmado at Parque San Miguel drinking a beer Sunday. Taking a little break from my Sunday walkabout.

The owner is a nice guy and he invited me for a few beers. We were drinking, telling stories and having a nice ole time when a friend of his joined us. Mr. Teeth(as I’ll call him throughout this story)was a bit drunk already and started telling me how he was in love with me. He kept putting his hand on my leg while talking. He was getting a bit too familiar so I asked him very nicely to please don’t touch me. I don’t like it. He would stop and then a few minutes later start again. I moved my chair a little away from him and he followed. Finally I decided I had to be a bit more forceful so maybe he would bet it through his head I did not like being touched. So I told him a sentence that I learned my first time on vacation in Santo Domingo, “Quintas sus manos sucios de me”! (roughly translated “Get your dirty hands off of me” and I’m not sure if I say it correctly or spell it right but you get the idea).

Mr. Teeth opened his mouth in shock ready to say something. When he opened his mouth his false teeth flew out and landed on the sidewalk! He had a look of shock on his face. I had to do the ole double take going from his face to the ground where his teeth lay. After the initial few second shock, I didn’t want to embarrass him, I turned and started talking to my friend. Mr. Teeth grabbed up his dentures and hurriedly put them on the chair between his legs.

I was trying not to laugh. I really, really tried not to laugh. My friend was snickering the entire time and I was holding it in as best as I could. But when I looked at him, he was putting the teeth back in, I lost it. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Many times when I laugh too hard I snort and this was one of those times. My friend and I were laughing so hard, we couldn’t stop. I tried to stop because I didn’t want to humiliate Mr. Teeth but I couldn’t help it, especially when my friend was laughing just as hard as I. I decided it was best just to get out of there. I told my friend I had to go. I tried to say goodbye to Mr. Teeth but I just couldn’t. I had to walk down the street alone laughing aloud to myself all alone.

All the rest of the day every time I thought of it I started laughing. People probably thought I was a bit off walking alone and giggling but it could not be helped. I’m even laughing now just picturing good ole Mr. Teeth and the look on his face when his teeth shot out of his mouth. Am I a bad human for this?? LOL!

This is a little added on note I had to get permission to write about from my mom:
The thing that really made me laugh when I could not hold it in anymore was thinking of my mother. My nephew, who was very shy and afraid when he was young as he was adopted and not used to our boisterous style of family, was playing with my mom. She was holding him above her balanced on her feet. All were laughing and having a good time when her teeth flew out! My nephew got this look of fear on his face and a giant scream came out of his mouth. He wouldn’t stop crying and yelling for a while and it took him days, maybe months before he was able to sit with his grandmother without being afraid her teeth were not going to come out.

This is what made me laugh more at the Mr. Teeth guy. I laughed at my mom as did the entire family (except the frightened nephew) so I think I had a right to laugh at Mr. Teeth didn’t I?