Tag Archives: billy jay

Playa Palenque for Hurricane Sandy

Teli and I decided to go away for the day Billy Jay (my son) died. I like to get away on that day so I do not be in the house thinking too much. I chose Playa Palenque in the province of San Cristóbal. Little did I know that Hurricane Sandy was going to pass by during my little 2-night trip.

I made the reservations in the Hotel Playa Palenque. I stayed there once before and I liked the place. They have a kitchen and fridge so I could save money and take my own food. I took sandwich stuff, cereal and non-cooking items. Except for the coffee. I thought I could use the stove at least to make coffee but they said I couldn’t. No problem, each morning I just asked the girls working in the hotel to make me coffee using my coffee and they didn’t charge me.

I had to take a taxi because they don’t permit my dog Teli to ride n the Guagua. Another no problem. I like taking a taxi because I can take better pictures of the ride. Teli hopped into the back seat, Juan Carlos of JC Taxi loaded my stuff in the trunk and I settled into the front seat for the ride.

There were many good camera shots on the ride to because the streets were filled with pools of water.

Ave. George Washington – Hurricane Sandy

Vehicles plodded through the water on the Malecon in Santo Domingo.

Ave. George Washington – Hurricane Sandy

Most didn’t even slow down. This caused giant waves to appear on either side of their vehicle.

Toll booth – Hurricane Sandy

It made for some interesting riding.

We got to the hotel all safe and sound. Juan Carlos, the taxi driver, helped carry my stuff to the room. I had to carry Teli because they have 2 giant German Shepard’s on the property (sorry, I forgot to take a picture of the dogs). The dogs were not mean to me on my last visit but I guess they are not very welcoming to other dogs in their territory so I had to carry Teli most of the time coming and going.

Hotel Playa Palenque

Hotel Playa Palenque

Orchids Hotel Playa Palenque

The room at Hotel Playa Palenque

We headed down to the beach as soon as I got unpacked and loaded the fridge. We walked down to the waters edge, as close as we could get, to see what we could see. The usual darker waters of Palenque were much darker and the waves were somewhat large. The seas were rough my friend. There was no way we could go swimming or even wading for that matter.

Playa Palenque during Hurricane Sandy

House in Playa Cololindo wishes good luck to all.

We walked up to the Playa Cocolinda to say hi to a friend. We made it just in time. The rains started coming down strong in torrents and the wind really picked up. There were only 2 places open in that section of the beach. No one was there except for the employees. I let Teli free for a bit to check out the area under the thatched roof patio to smell around while I sat and talked to my friend and played with a kitten. I was waiting for the wave of hard driving rain to stop or at least slow down.

When the winds subsided and the rain slowed to a bleak drizzle we walked back to Playa Palenque. I went to the only place open and had myself a nice cold beer while I sat under cover of the large pavilion. The dance floor inside was empty. The chairs were all stacked up. They were putting away the large speakers to protect them from the salt spray. I watched the water and talked to the people working there. Teli was checking out all the stuff and having a good time being free to wander around without getting soaked.

Palenque Beach during Hurricane Sandy

Teli at Palenque Beach during Hurricane Sandy

Teli visiting Palenque Beach during Hurricane Sandy

Sleeping during Hurricane Sandy

Finally we went back to the hotel. We were both soaking wet because as soon as we walked out of the safety of the large thatched roof covering it started to rain hard and the winds picked up again.

I ordered some warm dinner to thaw out up my cold innards and had it delivered to the patio of the room. It was more comfortable sitting there for Teli and I. We could enjoy dining without worrying about the dogs coming and getting my baby. I forget the name of what I ordered but it was beef in mushroom gravy with rice and a salad. It was full of flavor and nice and hot. We both enjoyed.

Dinner on the patio

Later that night Teli and I were summoned to the outdoor restaurant to visit with the owner, Peter. We were having a nice conversation when one of the friendlier German Shepard came over to give Teli the official dog-sniffing check out. Teli was fine at first but the Shepard started getting too close. She jumped up and growled at him! He ran away to the other side of the pool! He was sulking while pacing back and forth as he kept Teli under observation. He finally gave up and went back to his spot at the front gate. I was so proud of my little girl for holding her own.

Hurricane Sandy made herself known throughout the night with continuous rain, wind and lots of nastiness. The hotel has a generator so the lights and fan were always on. I had a cold for a few days and was not feeling my best so I just stayed in read my Kindle, watched TV and listened to the constant sound of storm outside with Teli at my side (I took a sheet to cover the bed).

Ready for the evening

We woke on the 25th, the day Billy Jay died. It was raining relentlessly. There was a pool of water outside my patio. Teli desperately had to go outside to take care of her business. We had to wait for the guard to wake so he could make sure the dogs were kept at bay so I could let Teli out. I gave my coffee to the girls to prepare for me. They brought it to the room and I had a bowl of cereal and then we were off to see what we could see.

The bridge to Cocolindo had been flooded during the night but the water subsided by the time we crossed except for one spot.

There were no businesses open this day on this side of the bridge. All was shut down. It was empty except for a few dogs making their rounds while making it very clear to Teli that she was in their territory.

Boats at Cocolindo waiting for Hurricane Sandy

There were a few people here and there dealing with their daily duties. One family was in the back of their house building a carbon fire, cooking something that smelt very yummy. Another man was fetching water in a bucket coming from a plastic pipe across the street from their home.

House at Cololindo

We went back to he only place open at Playa Palenque and hung out for a while visiting with our new friends.

Palenque Beach – Hurricane Sandy

Palenque Beach – Hurricane Sandy

There was a little chicken seeking shelter from the storm. It did not care that there was a dog in close proximity. Teli had to go and check out the little wet chicken. The chicken did not pay heed to Teli in the least. It just went about chickening, or whatever chickens do.

Hanging with the chicken

One of the guys in the business decided he was going to try and catch the bird. The little spindly bird was faster than he was. They just let it stay.

Chasing the chicken

The rains had stopped for a bit letting the local kids come out and see what they could find in the garbage the rough seas stirred up. All I saw in the trash the sea brought in were shoes and plastic. Not one of the shoes had a match.

Kids scavenging on Playa Palenque

A little thatched roofed Bahia sitting atop a log of palm decided it was time to give in to the waves battering it. It slowly fell over. This is when the owners decided they needed to get the wood from the frame before all was washed into the sea. They were out trying to pull the little Bahia apart, fleeing to safety as each large wave approached them. There were 6 of them pulling at the little hut, breaking pieces off then running to put their treasure inside so it was not washed away. They were laughing as they were getting drenched, as they were not that fast to escape all the waves trying to take the Bahia before they could. It was an interesting battle. I never thought of taking a video.

Saving the Bahia

Nothing much happened after this. Teli and I went to the room and ordered some steaming hot Seafood Stew. When the food was delivered we just hung out in the room for the duration. The rain and wind was much stronger this night. I slept, read, sat on the patio and looked at the nastiness good ole Sandy was generously sharing with Teli and I. I was hopeful that the morning would bring a reprieve from the storm.

It didn’t.

I had my coffee, called JC Taxi to come and get us at his earliest convenience, packed up then went out for the last check-up on what Sandy did to Palenque Beach.

Hurricane Sandy at Playa Palenque

Juan Carlos came with his taxi and we were on our way back to see what Sandy decided to do to the outside world while we were away.

We passed Playa Nayajo.

Playa Najayo

Saw a man trying to fit 2 big cows into a small truck. He heeded a cowhorn (lol), not a shoehorn to get those big heifers into that truck.

Street at Najayo with the cows

Street at Najayo with the cows

There was a small landslide on the street.

Mud on the street

The river near Haina was a bit nasty looking.

Muddy river during Hurricane Sandy

The goats waiting for their turn to be butchered were washed clean by the rains. The ones that already lost their lives were hanging waiting for someone to take them home and make some wonderful Chivo dishes. The meat is tasty I just do not like seeing them before they are cooked.

Goats/ Chivos of Haina waiting

The Chivo waiting to be someones dinner

The sky had a hint of blue and the sea was starting to calm down. Waves were still a bit large. Some of the benches along the Malecon were a little damaged as usually happens when any large storm passes by.

Malecon in Santo Domingo after Hurricane Sandy

Malecon in Santo Domingo after Hurricane Sandy

Malecon in Santo Domingo after Hurricane Sandy

Ship in the Caribbean Sea Santo Domingo after Hurricane Sandy

Seeing Zona Colonial in the distance

Teli and I made it home. The rain did not get in our windows. The ceiling was a little damp but it did not leak. The electric was out for about an hour. All was good.

Another year has passed since my son died when he was 23 years old on October 25, 2003. I cannot believe it has been 9 years already. In memory of my baby boy, Billy Jay Keys, you are always loved and missed. See Billy Jays memorial picture site.

Road Trip to San Jose de Ocoa October 2011

Road Trip to San Jose De Ocoa

Day 1 – Sunday Oct. 23, 2011
I always try to go to a river or some area quiet for the day my son Billy Jay (to see his memories in pictures)died (Oct. 25). I just need to get away and be near fresh water even if its only just a few minutes. So this year I decided to go to San Jose de Ocoa and check out the area to put information on my web site, combining work and pleasure. I was there once many years ago for about an hour during their Virgen de Altagracia festival they hold each January for the Altagracia Day. I took some videos (see the videos I took in San Jose de Ocoa here)
and had a nice time so I figured I needed to go and learn more about this quiet little town.

I caught the bus in Parque Independencia in the Colonial Zone at 12 noon. The bus driver, Julio Manuel, was very nice. He took my suitcase and put it in the bus. We talked for a bit before the bus took of. When he told me it was time I got in my seat and settled in for a new adventure.

The bus was going so slow but I finally figured out they had a schedule to keep and since it was Sunday and there was no traffic on the roads they had to account for that and go slow to keep on time. But it seemed like it took forever, driving 5 miles per hour in the city picking up people here and there. Finally we hit the Parada where the bus really filled up and we were on our way. The bus trip to San Jose de Ocoa is $160 pesos and takes around 2 hours and 45 minutes to 3 hours.

When I got to San Jose de Ocoa and got off the bus I asked the driver about hotels and told him about my adventure. He told me I should go to Rancho Arriba which is a little farther up the mountain. I figured, why not, so I got back on the bus and we were off again. This time I was in the front seat next to the driver.

The road started to get bad and wasn’t paved anymore. It was really bumpy as we weaved our way up the mountain and into, what seemed, the middle of nowhere. The driver turned off the air and told me to open the window. The breeze was so nice and cool and the air smelt so fresh and clean. I was really enjoying the ride and the view. Thank goodness the bus had great shocks for the bumpy road. All the twists, turns, bends and places where the road was looking like it could turn impassable at any moment, Julio Manuel did some good driving as we worked our way up the mountain.road to rancho arriba from ocoa dominican republic

An hour later, costing me $100 pesos more, and we were there. He dropped me off at a hotel Tell Apin where I checked in. Julio asked me if he could come back and buy me a beer later and, of course, I said sure.

The owner of the hotel, Fernando and his son were both very nice as were the employees. I got a room for $300 pesos (about $8us dollars). It was very basic but what more does one really need, bathroom, bed and a fan. I left me luggage in the room and went out to explore. Walked up to the large Colmado at the entrance to the little town for a beer.

I met some nice guys Aneurys and his friends from Nizao, a little town half way down the mountain. Aneurys is a coffee farmer with his father, he is 20 years old, has a wife and 2 children and has no email address. I just found that interesting for a man that age not having an email address. He invited me to his house next time I am there. We talked a bit then some guy speaking a little English talked to me, Luis, and he bought me a jumbo beer and left. I went back and sat with Aneurys and friends and shared the beer with another guy cause I couldn’t drink all that beer before it got hot.
rancho arriba friends

The Colmado was starting to get full as dusk approached. The shiny leaves of the coffee bushes were shining on the hill in the distance. The Colmado was filling up mostly with people arriving on Motorbikes all lined up in a row on the street. Then the horse riders, Cabelleros, started arriving on beautiful horses some even had chaps and spurs on, these guys were real cowboys. But it was getting dark, Aneurys and friends had to go so I decided I best head back before dark as the Colmado was really filling up and I saw very few women there and no women alone. I had to make my escape to the comfort of the hotel.
caballeros rancho arribarancho Arriba Colmado

I got back and had some yummy Mondongo and a few beers, including tip for $200 pesos. Then Julio Manuel, the bus driver, called and we went to his motorbike for a short ride. We talked a bit, then he took me back to the hotel and I went to the room, read a little and went to sleep.

It was a good day.

Day 2 – Monday
Woke, took a cold shower, watched the guy milking his cows by hand from the window in the room, packed up and went down to the restaurant in the hotel for breakfast and to figure out how to get back down the mountain. Fernando, the hotel owner, explained to me how to get back to San Jose de Ocoa and told me a bit about the area. I got my luggage and headed back to the Colmado from the night before to get a Guagua down the mountain.

There were a few people there that remembered me from the day before in that Colmado. When the Guagua came there was no way my back could handle sitting on plain wooden seats for the bumpy ride down the mountain. They offered me the front seat but it was no better. I didn’t want to seem like a picky American but I had to take care for my poor ole back so I waited for the next bus. It was the same. So I talked to a motoconcho guy about a ride down the hill on his bike. I told him he had to go slow and maybe make a few stops for pictures and he said $200 pesos for the 45-minute ride so I agreed. He tied my suitcase on the back and I hopped (not really hopped, mounted the bike very slowly is more like it) on the back and we were off.
guagua to Ocoa
my motoconcho driver odalis

The motor guy, Odalis, made a few stops for a beer here and one there. We danced to some bachata. I stopped here and there and took some pictures. There was an interesting cemetery and a waterfall. There was a funny drunk guy in one place. He kept hugging the pillar where he was sitting. Odalis and I named the pillar Rosa. We left before the drunk started making mad love to his cement Rosa. I just did not want to see that..lol. We made sandwiches in a Colmado, which is a very inexpensive way to eat when traveling.
Janette and Odalis on motoconcho
drunk with his pole rosa
cemetery in sabana larga
waterfall

Five and a half hours later Odalis pulled up in front of the hotel in San Jose de Ocoa. Hotel Marien. They have a restaurant, bar and nice basic hotel on the second floor. The prices in the bar are the same as a Colmado so I was content. I checked in for $600 pesos a night (about $16usd). They have cable TV, air-conditioning, hot water and clean rooms.It is located in the center of town directly across from the park, Parque Duarte.

I unpacked and went down to check the area out. Aneurys was going to visit but he couldn’t get down and back up the mountain before dark. I got some dinner in the hotel. Had some really great Monfongo and salad for under $200 pesos. Then I went to the bar. There were a few guys there having a good time and they invited me to sit with them, Wilkin and his friends. We started laughing and talking. We danced a little. We used the beer bottle as a microphone and sang a bachata song. Of course, I had no idea what the words were but I just sang whatever. They were laughing so hard. We did have fun. Then around 9PM I went to the room to enjoy the air and sleep. When I got there Julio Manuel, the bus driver called to see me but I was too comfy in the room so I told him he had to visit another day.

It was a good day

Day 3 – Tuesday

Odalis, the moto guy, said he would take me to the river for my time with my son Billy Jay. I called him and he had finished his morning work milking the cows on his farm and was already heading down the mountain to meet me. We went to eat some Empanadas and had some juice and coffee. We went to his sisters’ house to visit for a little bit. Then he got a call from someone he needed to take for their documents and he had to go. He said he could not take me to the river and he was sorry. So I had to find someone to take me to a river.

I went back to the hotel and met an older gentleman, Jose, and we had a beer. Then I went to the corner to talk to the motoconcho drivers. The one guy was very rude and wanted $400pesos to take me for 2 hours. That was just too much and I really didn’t like the way he was acting. Then out of nowhere, the guy I met when in Rancho Arriba, Luis, came by. I told him what I needed. He was finished working, he only worked a half day, and he said he could take me for free. So I got on his bike and we were off with the motoconcho driver yelling behind that he could take me for less money.

Luis took me to a river where there was very little water running (the river was messed up because of tropical storm Irene that passed by. They said the water was over the bridge). He let me walk to the water and be alone for a while.
cow walking along the river bed
san jose de ocoa river bed and bridge

He told me about some Taino cave that wasn’t too far and if I wanted to go there. Of course I said yes. We started driving on these little dirt roads sparsely populated with little wooden and corrugated steel house and small farms. The road turned intro a trail and still there were homes here and there. It was a bit difficult on the bike as both Luis and I are large people. But we finally got to this little creek where the water was so cool and clear. The trail ended. You had to cross the creek and go on a walking trail the rest of the trip to the Cueva Indios. I did not bring the right kind of shoes for creek walking and was not prepared for this so we just stayed there. He sat on the rock and I walked around the woods for about a half hour. It was just what I needed for my time with Billy Jay.
river where I sat with Billy Jay near cueva taino
river near taino cave Luis

We headed back to civilization and were almost back into Ocoa when he realized that he left his backpack on the rock. He dropped me at a gas station, here called a Bomba, bar and went back cause it would be faster if he went alone then he would come back and get me. Well, the bar was closed so I went off walking down the road for a Colmado.

There was one a few streets away owned by an older couple. I got a beer and we talked a bit. Their lights were out but the beer was still cold. They were so sweet. I enjoyed the conversation very much. Then I saw Luis passing by on his bike. I called his cell as he entered the bomba. Told him to turn right on the road and I was there. Well, he turned the wrong way so I had to call and tell him to turn the other right. He came back and then he took me back to the town. He went home and I went to the Supermercado Massiel (friendly staff and one man working there speaks English) near the hotel and got some food to eat in the room. I got some ice and a big pitcher of water and retired for the evening at around 6.

It was a difficult day knowing it was the day Billy Jay died but it was the prefect way to spend this day.

Day 4 – Wednesday

I wanted to spend this day checking out the town of San Jose de Ocoa. I went out for a walkabout. It is a nice little town were most of the homes are wooden or palm wood. It is very clean and well kept. There is very little trash in the streets. The people are friendly but not overly so.

I passed the Fire Station, the Bomberos. There was a very old fire truck so I took a picture and the firemen came out and we talked a bit. They were very nice and told me a little about the Cuerpo de los Bomberos.
fireman friend
old fire truck

I saw a nice little park filled with wonderful shade trees. There was a group of kids fighting the beta fish. I talked to some men sitting in front of their house and one took me in his house to meet his dying mother whom he was taking care of. I don’t know if she even knew we were there but I talked to her for a little bit anyhow and then was off again.

Wilken called to meet me for a beer so I stopped at Colomado Andujar to wait for him. The older gentleman I met the other day, Jose, was there so we had some laughs. The owner is a Dominican York and spoke English. The kid working there whom I named Motorconcho (they thought that was funny because here it is not motorconcho it is motoconcho), kept asking me to introduce him to an American woman so I took his picture to share with the world. As usual, Wilken never showed up but it didn’t matter because I had a great time. I left to meet the bus driver, Julio Manuel, at the bus station at 3. We talked for a few minutes and we made a date for later in the evening. I went back to the hotel to take a nap.
colmado andujar jose in window
jose and me
motorconcho

Woke and met Julio Manuel at the bus station at 8PM and we went to have a hamburger at some street vendor place. The burgers were only $50 pesos each where here in the Capital the price is double that easily. We had a beer and talked a while then I went to the room and to sleep.

It was another good day

Day 5 – Thursday Going home

Woke around 10AM, got ready, packed up and met Julio Manuel for a coffee. He waited with me for my bus back to Santo Domingo. Then I was off on the bus home. Talked to a lady for a while but mainly the trip was very uneventful.

I walked into my apartment around noon breathing a sigh of relief. I was in my own home again. The trip was wonderful but it is always so nice when I get into my own home with my own TV, my own kitchen, my own bed and all my stuff.

It was a great trip. I met some very nice people, a few of whom will be friends for a long time. I also got to spend time way in the country along a babbling creek, time alone remembering my baby boy, Billy Jay.



Billy Jays Birthday 2011

I always try to go away for my sons, Billy Jay, birthday every year. I try to be close to water because his ashes are in the lake where we lived and since I cant go to the lake in Pennsylvania I have to be near water here.

I was not going to go anywhere this year as I used most of my cash for all the deposits for the new apartment I will rent someday when they do all the needed fixes. I was just going to work. But the internet went out on Sunday and was still out on Tuesday and I knew if I could not work that I would be really depressed so I decided to spend money I didn’t have and go away.

I went to the internet cafe and made a reservation for BelleVue Dominican Bay in Boca Chica. Its an all inclusive place and I got it for about $30usd a day from Travelocity (Visit Travelocity for Caribbean Deals
) which was a great deal. I went home, packed up and was on my way within the hour.

They did not have my reservation when I got there but soon found it and I want to the room. It was really nice. Balcony, internet and best of all air conditioning. I have air conditioning dreams as I don’t have air in my place so I really enjoy when I can get it.

I unpacked and headed down to the pool area and started on my free drinks and food. I had to get my monies worth. I spent the day drinking, eating, talking and just relaxing. That night I watched the animation teams performance, went to the disco for about an hour then to the room.

The next day, June 15th, Billy Jays birthday, I was going to spend at the pool relaxing. When I got there and looked up at the sun there was a complete rainbow around the sun. Encircling it entirely. It was beautiful. I felt it was a gift from Billy Jay just for me. The rainbow lasted for more than an hour. I was so enjoying it and had to tell all around me to look so they could enjoy it as well. Then at 4:30PM, when Billy Jay was born a group of people I met did cheers for my baby boy. He would have been 31 years old today.
Billy Jays Rainbow1Billy Jays rainbow2
That evening was the full moon and it was spectacular. I felt it was another gift from my only son, Billy Jay.

The next day it rained all day and I just hung out with some of the people I met and enjoyed all the free stuff. There was no disco that night so I just talked to one of the workers in the dining room for a while then went for my last night of air conditioning.

I got a taxi for the ride home and was back in the Zone by 1PM. It was a great time. I was relaxed. I got some wonderful gifts from my son for his birthday. But the best gift would have been if he was still here with me. Happy Birthday Billy Jay!

Happy Birthday Billy Jay 29

>Today would have been my son Billy Jay Keys birthday. He would have been 29 this year. He was and still is the best gift I ever received.

To read more about my Billy Jay read my post A Mothers Worst Nightmare
To see the pictures of Billy Jays short life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY JAY, MY BABY BOY!

A Mothers Worst Nightmare

October 25th, 2003. This day 3 years ago was one of the worst days of my life. The death of my son, my baby boy, Billy Jay. He was 23 years old. I guess he will always be 23 years old now. No matter how many birthdays pass.

Billy Jay always had problems, issues as the world calls it now. I hate that when people say someone has issues. Everyone has some issues. Anyhow, Billy Jay had substance abuse problems that he just couldn’t seem to fight. No matter how much all who loved him tried to help. Nothing worked. Yet he lived his life to the fullest. He had more adventures, both good and bad, than most people have had in their entire lives. He always kept a captivated audience with his adventure stories. All true. His short 23 years of life was filled with love, adventure, happiness and close friends. But it was also shrouded in trauma, sorrow and emptiness.

The evening he died, I did not know until the following day. I was at a friends home. Mamita and Jimmy’s place. It was a Saturday. I wasn’t feeling well so I left early. The cab we called, I knew the driver. He was a friend of mine. I got my dog and the 3 of us sat in the park in front of my apartment. We had a few beers and shared stories. I told him about my son and some of my little adventures. He went back to work and I went to my apartment. Early for a Saturday night.

In the morning on a lazy Sunday, Sniffy (my dog) and I were just laying in the bed. Thinking of which direction we would go for our traditional Sunday walk-friend finding adventure. Then my cell phone rang. It came up unknown number, which I usually wouldn’t answer. But I answered. I don’t know why.

A woman’s voice on the other end asked for Mrs. Keys. I told her it was Miss Keys and yes, it was me. She proceeded to ask me if I knew a William Keys. My first thought was “what did he do now”. She told me we have your son. My brain was still a little fuzzy from sleep. I remember I asked her what she meant. The first thought that entered my head was that he was arrested for something stupid again, like sleeping in a park. Same as before. She said “This is the Allegheny County Coroners Office and we have your son”.

I had to think.

I couldn’t think.

I asked her to repeat herself. I asked her “What are you telling me? My son is there? Dead?” she said I’m sorry but yes.

I remember a sensation came over my body. Like a numbness just took over and sucked all feeling out of my body. Like even the emotion was gone. Blank feeling. So hard to describe. Was this real? Was I awake? Who would play such a crude trick on me? I asked her for her name and number and said I would call her right back. this I did right away and she answered. I asked her again what she told me.

It was real.

She told me the sketchy details. He was found about 7:30PM in the woods near some railroad tracks in Pittsburgh PA. I don’t remember exactly what she told me or the exact sequence of events. All is fuzzy to me. I know I called my mother in PA to tell her. I asked her to call the coroner again to make sure it was real. I don’t remember crying just yet. Just not feeling. Too numb.

I called Mamita and Jimmy. Told them what happened. I just had to talk to someone while I was waiting to hear from my mom with the news. They came to my apartment within the ½ hour just to sit with me. I never even asked them. In the meantime I really needed a cig. I went to the Colmado. I didn’t have any money. I didn’t remember to take any. The guy in the Colmado asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t even think of the words in Spanish to say but I think he understood because a few of my neighbors came by within that hour to see if I needed anything.

My mom called back. She had already called my cousin, Josh, to go and see if it for sure was Billy Jay. Identify the body. Even though it is only a picture that you identify. She was getting me a ticket to return to USA for later that day.

I called a friend, x boyfriend, sometime this day for I don’t know what reason. He said he would take me to the airport. Mamita took Sniffy, my dog, to stay with her while I was gone. I really don’t remember flying on the air plane at all. I try to remember but I just can’t. Most of the time in USA, that week, fades in and out still.

Billy Jay, once so full of life, was found face down near some railroad tracks. His dogs leash in his hand. The dog set free for some unknown reason. His backpack was with him. His notebook inside. He always had his notebook with him to write some poem or draw some picture that was floating in his creative head. My phone number was in this book, this is how they knew to call me. He had some change in his pocket and his wallet. His wallet held a receipt. It was for a McDonalds breakfast he and his girlfriend had together before she went to work. Maybe that breakfast sandwich was the last meal he ever had.

He died easily, the coroner said. Time of death was around 4PM. He was found about 7:30PM. He just slipped of in a sleep. They said this because he died face down. They said a suicide is face up. Under his body was the needle and plastic bag that held the death potion that took my boy.

I had him cremated. We had a memorial service for him. There was over 100 people there. People I didn’t even know. Family and friends. Everyone so supportive. Many of us wore red, Billy Jays favorite color. I don’t remember much of the service. People told me I shook through the entire thing. I don’t remember. A few days later we took his ashes to the lake where he loved so much and set him free there. His grandparents, great grandparents, his school friends, his girlfriend and a few of his newer friends all showed up. We said good-bye to Billy Jay remembering funny stories and some of the crazy things he did.

His girlfriend gave me some pictures and some of his belongings. In the bag was a paper from his rehab he has just got out of a week before. On his list of things he wanted to achieve was 1) To get through Halloween clean (since it was his favorite holiday), 2) To get back close with his family (he stayed away from all when he was using), 3) To visit his mom is Dominican Republic (I told him if he stayed clean he could come and live with me. The family was planning on buying him a ticket to visit me that Christmas. Billy Jay never made it to that Christmas).

Sometimes I can feel his presence. Two times I heard him call Mom. I can remember his calling me so distinctly. I can remember what his hugs feel like. His 6’7″ body hugging tight. He was the best hugger. He always hugged. I can hear his deep voice saying to me “I love you Mommy”, tilting his head to the side in his cute impish way just a little bit, as he said this. I called him Baby Boy and he called me Mommy.

All I have are the pictures, videos, and memories. All memories, good and bad, seem to turn good when someone is gone. I try to never say he was or I had a son. I try to say I have and always will have a son. He is always my son. He is always with me. Even if he is not here physically.

Your Mommy loves you Billy Jay, my baby boy. I think of you and miss you every day, every minute, of my life. I try not to cry when I think and speak of you. I try to smile and remember all the good. I know this is how you would want to be remembered. With a smile and a laugh, never a tear.

Please check out the link to see the Billy Jay Memories on World is Round or Billy Jays Memories on Flickr. A picture gallery of my sons life. If you open the drawings and handwritten items toward the bottom of the page you can some of Billy Jays art. Also the memorial concert flier. Heroin Awareness group and his friends did this in Memory of Keys. , the name his friends called him. This is a picture of the railroad tracks near where he was found.

Continuing On With the Move

When I came back home to Pennsylvania, USA from Dominican Republic after the big visit to the embassy trip I was ready to do what it took to be a Dominicana. I didn’t tell anyone right away, at least for the first few weeks. I can keep others secrets well, but my own secrets…well, there’s really no such thing.

So I started talking. I was a waitress at Kings Restaurant for almost 13 years. 4 different location. I was so worried I was going to be a lifer. So this was my only way out.(not really, but that was a big joke of us Kings long-timers)

I contacted the Dominican consulate in Philly and made a few friends there. I put my Mobil home up for sale. Started selling off stuff I didn’t need. Making lots of jewelry(that’s what I did for some extra money after I closed my business). Sorting through my accumulated junk. Funny how I got all the junk. I kept adding more junk but didn’t want to get rid of the old junk. So I bought a little bigger house so I could fit more junk. I built my own shelving so I could display all the stuff. I had a small shed out back but had to take that down to make room for a new and improved shed with a loft and work bench so I had room for all my tools and movers and rototillers and all the boxes of stuff that I didn’t want to get rid of but really didn’t want to look at either. Its hard to believe all the junk one can accumulate in a short time.

I was looking at things in my home town of Valencia and Mars in a different light. Like it was going to be the last time I saw these things. Things did look prettier. The sun rise and sets were brighter. The green of the leaves were more vibrant. But the snow was still as cold and I realized how much I did hate being cold.

The most difficult things to sell was my camping gear. I loved to camp and I had all the gear organized in alphabetical order(that’s what my friends used to tease me about). The week before I put them up for sale my aunt flew in from Chicago to make the last camping trip with me. Then it was in the paper and sold within a week. All gone for $500usd. A nice lady came with her truck and we started packing up. I was telling her all about what was there she was getting. I started crying. She felt so bad she offered not to buy the stuff. I had to sell it and she seemed nice so it was going to a good home.As she drove off with my most treasured stuff I cried. There was no turning back. I couldn’t live in USA without camping and be happy.

My tools sold fast also. My electric saws. Chain saw. Rototiller. Sanders. All went fast. This was difficult also. I was so proud of my work shop. All my tools in order on the peg board. Every nail and screw in order on the shelf by size and labeled nicely. After these things went everything else was easy.

I got a stall at the Flea and was there every Sunday selling all my collected belongings.
Then the 9/11 terrorist thing happened. People went crazy. At my job customers were telling me I was abandoning my country. Some would not even sit at my tables. Before 9/11 people were interested in my moving, how it was coming along, why I was doing this, all was good. After 9/11 I was the bad guy. I was abandoning my country. I was a tractor. Even tho I had already sold half of my belongings before the attacks. I had one very large fireman almost physically attack me over his table. My manager had to take me to the back of the restaurant to calm down. I was ready to fight the guy. I could have beat his fat butt, I know it! LOL!
It was time to move out on my place. I was moving in with mommy and daddy for the last month so I could pay up all my bills and get rid of my house. I was working a second waitress job at night to make more money. My son Billy Jay, came in from Louisiana, where he was living that month, to spend me last month in USA with me. I was giving him my truck and lots of good stuff for his apartment. It was great that he came to see me. Who would have ever known that this would be the last time I would ever see my son Billy Jay again.

Come back later for more of the story. Back to work on the web site….